“There is no such thing as I can’t” – Fred Peters

When I was a little kid, my Dad taught me a valuable lesson. I would try to do something, struggle with it and give up. I would tell him “I can’t do that”. 

My Dad taught me many lessons but this one always stood out. Whenever I went down the path of “I can’t”, my Dad would always say to me, “There is no such thing as I can’t”. He would explain to me that if you put your mind to something and worked hard, there is nothing you can’t do. I’m sure as a young 9 year old boy, it would sometimes go in one ear and out the other. But over the years, it has always stuck with me. 

30 years later, my Dad is still teaching me that lesson. I just got home from spending the day with him. I took the day off work and drove two and half hours to his house to spend the day with him. It is his 75th birthday and I wanted to be with him to celebrate this milestone birthday. It is even more of a milestone because of the last 5 years of his life. 

From the moment I was old enough to realize it, my Dad has been my hero. He is my rock. He is such a strong, yet gentle man. He is quiet but his actions speak louder than his words. He is also really funny and a very positive person. He has always told me he was proud of me. He has always been my biggest fan and supporter. We text almost on a daily basis. Almost all of these text conversations end with him telling me how proud he is of me. He tells me he loves me every day. While he is human and has his flaws, he has always been a superhero to me and like every boy growing up, I thought that he would be around forever and that he would never get old. 

About 15 years ago, my Dad was diagnosed with diabetes. He has always been in good shape and has eaten pretty healthy. He pressed on, never complaining. 

About 10 years ago, my Dad began having chest pain. After several misdiagnoses, it was eventually discovered that his heart was 90% blocked and needed to have emergency surgery to add a stent to his heart. No big deal. Everything went fine and he continued on. He was still my superhero Dad. Strong. Silent. Hilarious.

About 5 years ago, my Dad started to develop other symptoms. His hands and head started to shake without him knowing. After months of waiting for an appointment, my Dad was referred to a neurologist and was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, which is a brain condition that causes problems with movement, sleep, pain and other health issues. Symptoms include tremors, painful muscle contractions and difficulty speaking. There is no cure. 

After the diagnosis, I did not panic. My Dad has fought off everything that has ever come at him. This will be like everything else, I thought. 

And boy has he fought. Anyone that knows somebody that has Parkinson’s can attest to the nastiness of this disease. This disease has done a number on my Dad. He barely sleeps. He has lost so much weight. He has difficulty eating and chewing food. His tremors, especially in the cold weather, have become worse and worse as time has gone on. He is quieter now more than ever because his speech is often slurred. My Mom says that he is more forgetful than ever. He has fallen a few times because poor balance is a symptom of the disease. And these are only the symptoms that I notice. I am sure that he is suffering through unimaginable pain. The lack of sleep alone would be enough to send somebody to a deep depression. 

But you know what? He has never complained one time. Not one time. He has every reason to complain. This disease has whooped his butt and he keeps on fighting. While the disease is withering away his mind and body, he is still that rock. My rock. He is still that strong man, who will never give up. Never quit. He is still my superhero. He always will be. 

So I went to visit him today on his 75th birthday to spend the day with him and my Mom. We were sitting on the couch having a coffee when I looked down and realized I had only moved 900 steps for the day and it was already 2pm. I honestly did not care that much about the exercise for the day. I just wanted to spend the day with my Dad, on his birthday. But I looked down and saw I had not moved much today. So I asked Dad, “Have you gone for a walk yet today?”. He said, “Yep. Every morning at 6am.” I said to him, “Are you up for one more?” He responded, “Of course”. 

So we went for about a twenty minute walk. He walks slower than he used to but we went for a walk together on his 75th birthday. On the walk, I made a joke that we will have to do this again on his 80th birthday. My Dad responded, “Well I don’t know about that. I may not be here. But every day that I wake up is a good day.”

This disease. This life altering, butt kicking disease, has affected my Dad’s life so much in the last 5 years. You almost would not recognize him if you had not seen him since the diagnosis. I am convinced 100% that he would not be here if it were not for his ability to never quit, stay positive and keep living each day like it was a blessing and a gift. He would be gone if he had said, “I can’t.” 

So let’s talk about you for a second. How often do you tell yourself, “I can’t”. “I don’t have time.” “Life is too stressful”. My Dad is dealing with a debilitating disease that causes him to sleep only a few hours a night, his muscles to spasm uncontrollably and puts him completely off balance. He has lost most of his muscle and body mass. Physically, he is a shell of his former self. He’s 75 years old and despite taking care of his body over the years, has been diagnosed with a heart condition, diabetes and Parkinson’s. His hands shake uncontrollably when he walks, especially in the cold. And this man can manage to go for a walk EVERY DAY at 6am. And you’re telling me you can’t? 

The word “can’t” does not exist in his vocabulary. I am so grateful that he taught me that lesson. He taught me to never give up and never complain. He taught me to always stay positive, work hard, show up and believe in yourself. He is the kindest man you will ever meet. He taught me when I was 8 years old by telling me, “there is no such thing as I can’t”. But more importantly, he has taught me every day through his actions that he CAN. We all can. 

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