Nobody likes a complainer. They suck the energy out of any room and any conversation. People like to complain for many reasons. Firstly, it feels good in the moment to complain because it costs you nothing. You’re unloading whatever is bothering you onto somebody else, shifting your weight onto them. More importantly, it allows you to take the blame off of yourself and shine the spotlight on something or somebody else. 

When you find yourself complaining, you need to recognize it and change your thought pattern. Think to yourself, “why am I complaining about this?” If it’s something you can change or remove from your life, then do it. If not, change your mindset. 

I use a strategy that can be useful to change any hard situation into something positive. It doesn’t even have to be a hard situation. There are just days when you won’t feel like doing things you know you have to do. We’ve all woken up on days and just feel unmotivated, tired, stressed out and not wanting to do anything. The simple solution is to change the way you think about the task at hand. Change the way you speak to yourself about the task at hand. Change “I have to” to “I get to”. It’s a way to reframe the situation and requires a slight shift in your mindset. It takes some practice and discipline but it really does make a difference. Here are some examples:

•     “I have to go to the gym” vs “I get to go to the gym” – Remind yourself that taking care of your mind, body and health is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Some people would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Don’t take your ability to move or your health for granted. You get to go to the gym. Some people no longer have the opportunity.

•     “I have to go to work” vs “I get to go to work” – There are millions of people in the world who would trade places with you and would happily take your job. Perhaps you’ve lost perspective of how lucky you are. Maybe you are not at a place where your job brings you fulfillment or satisfaction. However, without your job, you can’t pay your bills, buy Christmas presents for your spouse/kids, drive your car or play golf this weekend. When you don’t feel like going, pause and say to yourself, “I get to go to work today and I am grateful for that.” You’ll be amazed at how your mindset and self talk make a difference.

•     It’s 6:00 am and your alarm clock just went off. You had planned to get up early to go for a run. You might think, “I know I have to go for that run, but it’s too early. It’s too cold. It’s raining. I’m tired. I work really hard. Just twenty more minutes.” And you’ve already lost. Or you can do the right thing and tell yourself, “I am blessed to have another day. I get to wake up early and go for a run. I get to start the day right. Today will be a great day.”

You get the point. This small change in the way you think and speak can be used for anything you don’t feel like doing but you know that you should. It’s for those days where you don’t feel like attacking your daily mission. I get to eat healthy. I get to read that book. I get to go to class. I get to work on my child’s homework with them. I get to shovel that four feet of snow. I get to go grocery shopping. I get to walk the dog at the end of a long day. I get to work on that book I’m writing.

Remind yourself about how great your life is. Someone else has it much worse than you and would trade places with you in a second. You are blessed. Have bad things happened to you? Of course. Do you have bad days? Most definitely. Everybody has those days. But it’s up to you to battle that inner voice. That whiney little bitch voice that sometimes likes to complain inside your head or to other people. The voice that tells you that you’ll start tomorrow or Monday or next month. That voice that tells you to go back to bed.

So try it. When you find yourself in that place, when you aren’t feeling motivated. Tell yourself, “I get to…”. And go.